I'm just another teenager who's suffering with depression and self-harm but still love snowboarding and One Direction.
I'm just another teenager who's suffering with depression and self-harm but still love snowboarding and One Direction.
I’m going to do this the old fashioned way .. but here are my ‘interview questions’.. this may sound extremely serious but answer freely :) and of course we can talk even after I’ve gotten my information! Please be honest, I can make the answer anonymous in my presentation if you would like me to :)
What are the reasons to your self-mutilation?
- My mums lies, break-up with my boy bestfriend, bullying and stuff
Mind telling me your story (particularly behind your self harm)?
- I have much darker skin than other kids in my town and school, I’ve been bullied alot about that. And I’ve been called alot not so nice names, that from kids at my school and even my friends in my class. Just because I was dating a guy from my class during summer 2012, and I also made out with another boy from my class the same summer. but not when I was dating that other boy ofc! So my class friends, or two girls I was really good friends with during 8th grade, started calling me ClassWhore and ClassProstitue and that shit, but we still stayed friends because I pretended to be fine with it.
My mum has been lying to me during my whole childhood about my background and about my dad. I’ve never met my dad, and the only things I know about him is that he’s from Turkey, and she keeps saying how bad person he was/is. And she keeps lying to me now, and she’s denying things that I rembemer she said when I was younger… I’ve been feeling bad about that for many years, but the main reason is the split ut with my boy bestfriend.. We were best friends, it was us against the world. We used to hang out every weekend and in school and yea, we talked 24/7 and I’ve never been so happy like when I had him in my life. But then he started dating a girl, and I don’t know what happened to me.. I got so mad and I just couldn’t stand by and watch him love another… Soo he and I, we were fighting every day, I was mad because he liked another, and he was mad because I was mad I guess. I started to ditch school because I just couldn’t stand seeing he and her together. It’s like I broke up with him, and then a few days later I wanted him back. And that kept going for a few weeks, but one night, he didn’t take me back. He said he couldn’t take all the break-ups and all fighting and stuff. And that night I cut for the first time.
How did you come to the thought “I am going to start cutting?”
- I think it was in spring last year(2012) when me and my boyfriend broke up and I was feeling really shit about it(he was the boy from my class). I remember I hade a knife, and tried to cut. But I didn’t had the guts to do it. But then in autumn 2012 all that with my boy bestfriend happened and I didn’t know what to do. I’ve been watching tumblr and depression and that shit for a few weeks then, and I just decided that cutting would be the best way to get through this shit.
What are certain things in life which prevent you from cutting?
- My friends and famliy, and I don’t want to live a life where I can only use shirts with long sleeves.
Are you getting help?
- Yes I am
Do people know you self-harm?
- yup
How many people know that you self-harm?
- I don’t know exactly, but since I had to go in on that youth psychiatric ward place I think many people found out about my depression and yea
Are you thinking about suicide?
- I was! But not anymore. maybe sometimes…
Do you ever feel like just giving up? Explain those feeling please.
- yea I really do.. I feels like I just can’t take this shit anymore, it’s going in over my head and yea I just want to end all this pain…
Anything else you want to tell me? Something important I missed?
- Nope, I hope you got your answers and I hope I understood the questions right and I hope you understood my answers :) take care sweetie x
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straighten your back, mate
NOW GO ON
woah thanks i really needed that today
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FUCK THIS POST HAS SHOWED UP LIKE 10 TIMES TODAY AND I HAVE BEEN HUNCHED OVER EVERY FUCKING TIME
PLEASE KEEP THIS GOING it is the best reminder for me ever and I always need it omg
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do any of you even like my blog or am i just here entertaining myself
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